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Good and Miserable Excerpt

If you count yourself among the people who are suffering in this way don’t despair. There is hope. This book is dedicated to providing help. The first step is to gain an understanding about the “try hard / self-destruct” existence and its origins. With a little insight into the nature of our souls new resolution can be found to open the door for inner change.

You may not think that this book is for you. The difficulty is that those of us who try hard in life rarely admit that anything is wrong until there is a major crisis. Our job is to hold it all together. An admission that there is a problem would burst our bubble of self-made security. Before you run off to slay another dragon take a quick look at the list of symptoms listed below. If anything on that list looks vaguely familiar I encourage you to slow down and read this book more carefully. It may be the most important thing that you will ever do for yourself and for your loved ones.

To see if you might be a person that is influenced by a performance priority check the symptoms that apply to you. Remember, if you are influenced by this condition denial is likely to be strong because being “ok” is so important. Try to be honest as you review the list.

The following is a list of symptoms and characteristics that are associated with this syndrome:

Overachieving

People pleasing (happy when you can, unhappy when you can’t)

Periods of mild depression

Difficulty making decisions

Sensitivity to criticism

Feelings of unworthiness (masked by a veneer of competence)

Fear of failure privately (a public achiever)

High level of stress and anxiety

Anger and bitterness

Jealousy and envy

Aversion to inconsiderate behavior in others

Aversion to neediness in others

Aversion to irresponsibility in others

Difficulty entering intimate relationships

Difficulty showing and receiving love freely

Difficulty forgiving and receiving forgiveness.

If you checked four or more of these items learning more about the nature of a performance priority might open the doors to new freedom and emotional health.

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